The Songs Series
by starrybutterfly
Summary: Two unrelated songfics, both of which suck. BuffyAngel. {Both one shots}
1. If I never knew you

TITLE: The Songs Series: #1: If I never knew you  
AUTHOR: x_cutie_pie_x35  
E-MAIL: x_cutie_pie_x35@hotmail.com  
DISCLAIMER: Don't own the characters, the song is the Love Theme from Pocahontas  
TIMELINE: Season 5: Between "Into the Woods" and "Triangle"  
SPOILERS: "Into the Woods", some references to "Sanctuary"  
DISTRIBUTION: Don't take without permission!  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: In this series I write a story to do with a song (B/A of course!). This is the Buffy reality, I will also do a song series for an AU reality where no vamps exist, e.t.c. (AU will probably be better stories: more action, these are more thoughtful…and boring)

FEEDBACK: Please!  
RATING: PG

AUTHORS NOTE2: Please review the stories in the series separately, 'cos they are separate stories(they are in the same series because they all based around songs)

If I never knew you 

_If I never felt this love_

_I would have no inkling of_

_How precious life can be_

_And If I never held you_

_I would never have a clue_

_How at last I'd find in you_

_The missing part of me_

_In this world so full of fear_

_Full of rage and lies_

_I can see the truth so clear_

_In your eyes, so dry your eyes_

_And I'm so grateful to you_

_I'd have lived my whole life through_

_Lost for ever_

_If I never knew you_

_If I never knew you_

_I'd be safe but half as real_

_Never knowing I could feel_

_A love so strong and true_

_And I'm so grateful to you_

_I'd have lived my whole life through_

_Lost for ever_

_If I never knew you_

_I thought our love would be so beautiful_

_Someone we'd make the whole world bright_

_I never knew fear and hate could be so strong_

_All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night_

_But still my heart is saying we were right_

Oh, If I never knew you 

_If I never felt this love_

_I would have no inkling of_

_How precious life can be_

_I thought our love would be so beautiful_

_Someone we'd make the whole world bright_

_I thought our love would be so beautiful_

_We'd turn the darkness into light_

_And still my heart is saying we were right_

_We were right_

_And if I never knew you_

_I'd have lived my whole life through_

_Empty as the sky_

_Never knowing why_

_Lost forever_

_If I never knew you_

Written from Buffy's POV

#_lalalala# _means back in time

They were all expecting me to cry, or shout, or scream. I remember doing all those thing when Angel left me.

Angel.

Even now, whenever I think of him, my heart starts to ache, and I can't bear the thought of him in LA, two hours away when he used to be ten minutes.

They were all staring at me, sympathy written all over their faces.

"What happened?" Willow asked

"I dumped him…he was…paying for Vampire's to suck him…he left with the Initiative last night"

Everyone except Xander and Spike-who already knew- gasped.

Even Anya didn't have anything to say. Why are they so shocked? Riley needed to be loved in everyway…and I didn't. Sure, I cared…care…for the guy, but I never loved him. 

I never told him I did-never planned to. Why lie? 

And anyway, he already knew. He hadn't thought I had heard…but I had…

_#__ "Hey, I'm well aware of how lucky I am.  
Like, lottery lucky. Buffy's like nobody   
else in the world. When I'm with her, it's  
like I'm split in two -- half of me is just on  
fire, going crazy if I'm not touching her.  
Other half is so still and peaceful, just  
perfectly content. Just knows: this is the one. _

_But she doesn't love me"#_

And it was true.

Part of me wants to hate Angel for it-'Cos, yeah, it's his fault. 

If I never knew you 

_If I never felt this love_

Angel and I were…are soul mates, but he's too stubborn and thick-headed to admit it. 

_How at last I'd find in you_

_The missing part of me_

And I can't love Riley, it's impossible. Knowing what true love was like, I would be living a lie.

_And if I never knew you_

_I'd have lived my whole life through_

_Empty as the sky_

_Never knowing why_

_Lost forever_

_If I never knew you_

But Riley could make me happy, not as happy as Angel could, sure, but he would've been enough, if I hadn't experienced true love.

_And still my heart is saying we were right_

So, that's why just a few moments ago, I stormed out the Magic Box, without a word to anyone.

I can hear Dawnie calling after me, and normally she can me see sense, she needs me now mom's had her operation. But, I have to go see him…I can't live without him. I can't have a normal relationship, it's impossible. So stuff him, and all his virtues.

I just hope he listens to me…

~*~

He's changed his address-his old apartment blew up or something like that. He didn't go into much details-he never does these days. 

A few years back we would spend hours by the fireplace in the mansion, just talking about anything we felt like. 

All I want is for those days back.

He lives in a hotel now-The Hyperion. As I go in I can see Cordelia, Wesley and an African-American I've never met before.

"Buffy?" Cordy asked in surprise, "What are _you _doing here? Last time you came, Angel brooded for weeks, even after he'd seen you in Sunnydale!"

"Oh" I replied, not sure what else to say, "Is he here?"

"Why?" Cordelia narrowed her eyes

"Cordelia!" Wesley said sharply, "He's in the office" he told me.

"Thanks _Wesley_" 

~*~

I knock on the door of his office, feeling slightly nervous.

"Come in" His low voice calls out.

I go through the door into the small, green office.

"Hey"

"Buffy?!"

"Hi"

"What are you doing here?"

"Do you want me to go?"

"No! I mean, no" He panicked, and I started to smile.

I think he may still like me…

"How've you been?"

"Good, you?"

"Good, busy with cases"

"Business is blooming"

"Yeah"

We made small talk, neither of us knowing what to say.

Angel was telling me about meeting a new friend, Lorne, a soul-reading demon.

"You have to sing a song- CanIkissyou –I sang once"

"You have to sing a song called Can I kiss you?" 

"What?!"

"Oh, so that Can I kiss you was a Can I kiss you not a song Can I kiss you?"

Angel smiled, though he still seems a bit…flustered.

Okay…now I'm sounded like Giles.

Ack!

Willow…

"Can I?" He asks

"Sure" 

He does.

"Dawn found your diary…she said she read it _accidentally_-"

"I'll kill her…" I growl

He smiled, "She sent it to me…thought I should read it. You're right-you probably _will _never be happy, knowing true love…it's just…will you be OK with sleeping with me every night?"

"Huh?"

"The Clause…The Powers that be took it away…so…"

I cannot believe this-all my dreams are coming true at once!

I squeal with joy,  and wrap my arms around his neck.

Peace at Last.

_And If I never held you_

_I would never have a clue_

_How at last I'd find in you_

_The missing part of me_

_The missing part of me_

~*~

OK, OK, It was crap. Sorry! I'll try to make the rest better!

~*~


	2. Naked

TITLE: The Songs Series: #2: Naked  
AUTHOR: x_cutie_pie_x35  
E-MAIL: x_cutie_pie_x35@hotmail.com  
DISCLAIMER: Don't own the characters, the song is called "Naked" from Avril Lavigne's album "Let Go"

TIMELINE: Season 5: "Forever"  
SPOILERS: "Forever"  
DISTRIBUTION: Don't take without permission!  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: In this series I write a story to do with a song (B/A of course!). This is the Buffy reality, I will also do a song series for an AU reality where no vamps exist, e.t.c. (AU will probably be better stories: more action, these are more thoughtful…and boring)

AUTHORS NOTE2: Please review the stories in the series separately, 'cos they are separate stories(they are in the same series because they all based around songs)

AUTHORS NOTE 3: This does NOT follow on from the previous story (If I never knew you). They are in NO WAY connected.

FEEDBACK: Please!  
RATING: PG

~*~

I wake up in the morning Put on my face The one that's gonna get me 

_Through another day_

_Doesn't really matter_

_What I feel inside_

_This life is like a game sometimes_

_Then you came around me_

_The walls just disappear_

_Nothing to surround me_

_Keep me from my fears_

_I'm unprotected_

_See how I've opened up_

_You've made me trust_

_I've never felt like this before_

_I'm naked around you_

_Does is show?_

_You see right through me_

_And I can't hide_

_I'm naked around you_

_And it feels so right_

_Trying to remember_

_Why I was afraid_

_To be myself_

_And let the covers fall away_

_Guess I never had someone like you_

_To help me fit in my skin_

_I've never felt like this before_

_I'm naked around you_

_Does is show?_

_You see right through me_

_And I can't hide_

_I'm naked around you_

_And it feels so right_

~*~

Buffy stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes had lost their sparkle; their life. They had lost it the day she watched him walking away from her, out of her life forever.

"For my own good!" she muttered, "Yeah right!"

She brushed her hair, and studied her outfit. She had gone for traditional funeral wear, pure black, with a short skirt and black jacket. Her hair was loose, and it flowed down her back.

"Buffy? Are you ready?" She heard her best friend, Willow Rosenberg call. 

"Just a sec!" she called back.

She applied her lip-gloss, and struggled to keep back her tears. _I have to be strong-If not for me, then for Dawn._

She held her head up high, and walked out the door and headed for her mother's funeral.

I wake up in the morning Put on my face The one that's gonna get me 

_Through another day_

_Doesn't really matter_

_What I feel inside_

Did her friends even know her anymore? Couldn't they see that she was falling apart? _No, _she thought miserably, _They're too busy wrapped up in their own happy lives to notice_.

They all were leaning on each other like a set of dominos, except she was the one on the bottom, falling to the ground under the weight of the others.

"How are holding up?" Xander asked Dawn

"Ok" she replied, but he could see the tears threatening to fall

"Hey" Buffy said from outside the room, leaning on the doorframe, "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be" Dawn replied, gripping Buffy's hand for support.

_Doesn't really matter_

_What I feel inside_

The funeral had been large; Joyce had made numerous friends at the Art Gallery. Her employees were also their, saying their goodbyes to their good-natured boss.

"She was a wonderful woman-she shall be greatly missed" Yet another stranger had told Buffy afterwards, _Geez, Can't they think of *something* original? _

"Can you look after Dawn for a while?" She asked Giles, "I need to be alone for a while"

Perhaps, out of all of them, Giles understood her best, other than…_Don't go there. _

"Of course-take as much time as you need" he replied, pushing his glasses further up his nose.

"Thanks" she smiled gratefully, and walked down Revello Drive to Restfield Cemetery, where her mother's body lay.

_Then you came around me_

_The walls just disappear_

She sat under a tree, tears streaming silently down her face.

"Hey"

"Hey" she said softly, recognising the voice, not needing to turn around.

"Sorry I couldn't get here sooner"

"You came…I need you"

He sat down beside her, "You wanna talk about it?"

"Not yet", she lay her head on his chest and wept.

_You see right through me_

_And I can't hide_

_I'm naked around you_

_And it feels so right_

"It's just…they expect me to grieve for oh…maybe I'm allowed a minute? And then it's like…wham! I have to look after Dawn…provide for her…be a slayer…save the world. And I can't…I can't cope. They never just let me…be. You're the only person to never judge me, just be there for me, no matter what I decide"

"I'm sorry…I never realised how much you needed me…and how much I needed you. I was thinking…I might come…move…back down to Sunnydale…"

"Really?" she whispered, not daring to believe it.

"Do you want me too? 'Cos, the Fang Gang in LA-"

Buffy laughed, "Fang Gang?"

Angel smirked, "What's the matter? I distinctly remember you being a member from Scooby Doo"

Buffy swiped at him, "That's Xander's idea! Don't blame me!"

"Well-as I was saying- The _Gang _in LA, don't need me too much anymore…"

"Please…stay…forever"

"Forever" he promised, before pressing his lips against hers. 

_I've never felt like this before_

_I'm naked around you_

_Does is show?_

_You see right through me_

_And I can't hide_

_I'm naked around you_

_And it feels so right_

And it feels so right 

~*~

Wow! Two in one day! I know they both sucked…sorry. My AU song series, should be better. Well, I'll continue this series anyway, who knows, maybe I'll be inspired! Please, please, please, review! I love reviews *almost* as much as I love Angel!

~*~


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